"Where do you do the shoots around here?" the European flavor asked."Oh anywhere, really. The tests are only of the girls. Just Polaroids, you see. We spend a lot more time thinking about the composition and theme of the articles when they're actually going into the magazine." I'd said this maybe a hundred times before. I was even starting to think I knew what I was talking about. "You can never tell. Sometimes you'll find the prettiest girl, but it just doesn't translate through the lens. And sometimes you'll find a girl who's, well, sort of average, but the camera loves her." I shrugged again. "You never know until the test."I casually looked them both up and down. "You know, either of you girls could make it. You're both quite pretty, in very different ways of course. But actually I'm not working at the moment. I just came in to get a beer." I smiled a lopsided smile. That's how I always looked when I lied.The beauty turned to the cutie and said, "Do you think..." She restarted.. "Flashback – Captain M – A new missionI made it back to my seat, sat down, immediately jumped right back up and yelled, "What the fuck was that, it felt like a bee bit my ass!"The boney bitch looked over and sarcastically complained, "Captain, why the hell are you making so much noise? What is your problem?"I took out my flashlight, checked my seat and found some fucker had put a thumbtack on it. I wanted to swear but I controlled my temper and just stated the facts, "Some fucker on this bus is playing games. They put a thumbtack on my seat."She laughed and answered as her voice dripped with sarcasm, "Well Captain, that's to be expected because you're not very well liked – in direct contrast to my wonderful relation to the troops."I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing because she was the most hated person on this damn bus.She unfastened her seat belt and announced, "I'm going to the head." She marched up to the front head, bypassed all the waiting Marines, banged on the door.
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